How do you deal with people with lower EQ?

It helps to have a high EQ if you want to achieve in life. It’s your emotional quotient or emotional intelligence. And emotional intelligence has been lauded more than any other psychological quality in the last two decades (EQ). It’s the ability to control your own emotions as well as read and influence the emotions of others, to use a broad definition. When it comes to feelings, you may be a better leader, husband, and overall human being if you’re tuned in, observant, and introspective. Unfortunately, not everyone possesses this skill.

Consider the people you know who have problems reading nonverbal cues, are oblivious of how their constant negativity impacts others, or become outraged when confronted with emotions or confrontation. If you’ve ever worked for someone who is volatile, temperamental, gloomy, or just plain cranky, you know how difficult it is to put up with a supervisor who has a poor EQ.

Even if businesses make progress in building EQ in their managers, you will always have to learn how to deal with people who have poor EQ, including your boss. However, the good news is that you can begin with yourself. Because only emotionally competent people understand how to act in such a way that the situation is improved.

First let’s see how you could possibly spot these folks.

1. They are unconcerned about other people’s feelings.

Many persons with poor EQ appear to be unconcerned about other people’s feelings. They may be taken aback by the fact that their partner is upset with them or that their coworkers dislike them. Furthermore, they become irritated when others expect them to know how they are feeling.

2. They act in an insensitive manner.

People with low EQ, for the most part, don’t know what to say. They may also be unable to distinguish between what is appropriate and what is not. They might, for example, say something offensive at a funeral or make a joke shortly after a tragedy. They act as if you’re being unduly sensitive if you react to their out-of-line response. It’s no wonder that they can’t perceive and respond appropriately to the emotional tone and mood because they have trouble understanding others’ feelings.

3. They must always be ‘correct.’

You probably know someone who is often getting into fights with other people. Friends, relatives, coworkers, and even casual strangers become embroiled in arguments with these irritable people. People with low EQ will frequently fight an issue to death while refusing to listen to anything else. Even if you show them that they are incorrect, they will argue that your facts are incorrect. They have to win at any costs, and they can’t just “agree to disagree.” This is especially true if others criticize the individual for not understanding how others are feeling.

So what can you do?

1. You must stay calm.

If you’re feeling strongly about something but the person you’re dealing with is emotionally averse, it’s a waste of time to try to persuade them to change their minds. You’re not going to succeed. Your tears, anxiety, irritation, or wrath are unlikely to help them empathize with you. Instead, they’re more inclined to hold you in lower regard, become enraged, or retreat. Instead, remain cool and simply state your case before ceasing to speak.

2. You have to be clear.

People’s ability to make sense of ambiguous or ambivalent real-world events varies, and most of the people issues we meet at work fall into this category. If you work for someone who isn’t inherently great at interpreting your own emotions and intentions, regardless of your own EQ, it’s critical that you help them understand you. Use specific communication, write things down, spell out what you think and want, and double-check that your message is understood, without assuming that any subtleties would be missed.

3. Watch out for their moods.

EQ is best understood in terms of emotional reaction, despite all the rhetoric about it being a “intelligence.” Mood swings are a common symptom of those with poor EQ, although they are at least predictable. You can adapt to this by paying attention to their feelings and noting that they are prone to exaggerating both positive and negative situations. The greater your need to sync to someone’s emotions and ride their mood waves, the more their mood changes and the more they overreact to circumstances and situations.

4. Empathy is a virtue.

One issue with persons who have low emotional intelligence is their inability to empathize with how and why other people feel. If you believe you have a high EQ, you must make use of the resources you have been given to become the greater person. Someone who goes on and on about their accomplishments is eager for others to validate their value. Yes, you have the right to be impolite and cut them off. But you’re supposed to have the high EQ, right? Listening to a dull story isn’t going to kill you, and it won’t endure forever. Listening attentively and empathically is a nice act, and you might feel good about yourself afterward.

5. Be a source of knowledge.

If you can use your intuition to help your employer read other people’s intentions, feelings, and thoughts, assuming your EQ is higher than theirs, you’ll earn a lot of brownie points with your boss or co-worker. In other words, by efficiently enhancing your colleague’s ability to make sense of and influence people, you become an emotional and social advisor to them. This entails making them more streetwise and honing their basic interpersonal skills.

Finally, keep in mind that while EQ is generally beneficial at work, having more of it is better, a number of the most sought-after skillsets actually benefit from having lower EQ. People in creative or artistic positions, those who must be distrustful of others, and those who must be constantly anxious about implausible threats, for example, have lower than average EQ levels. Many jobs that involve little or no interpersonal contact are significantly less reliant on interpersonal skills and EQ. Individual diversity must be embraced rather than tolerated.

Check out my related post: How to recruit for diversity?

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Interesting reads:

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/10/18/biggest-mistake-people-with-low-emotional-intelligence-make-according-to-therapist.html

https://blogs.harvard.edu/factual/deal-low-emotional-intelligence/

https://blog.shrm.org/blog/emotionally-unintelligent-they-don-t-even-know-it-tips-for-coping

https://www.inc.com/christina-desmarais/how-to-stay-sane-when-dealing-with-someone-with-a-low-emotional-quotient-eq.html

https://www.verywellmind.com/signs-of-low-emotional-intelligence-2795958

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/low-emotional-intelligence

https://www.truity.com/blog/how-communicate-someone-who-has-lower-emotional-intelligence-you