How do you deal with people at work who put you down?

As you’ve probably discovered, you can have an employee that doesn’t respect you at times. When one of your employees has a disagreement with you for any reason, it can damage overall morale and make your job much more difficult. How gracefully you handle challenging personnel of all types is the actual measure of your leadership qualities. Your coworkers, coworkers, and other employees will almost certainly notice how you react to a rude employee’s treatment of you. But why do people do it?

1. Maybe they’re envious of you.

Given their poor self-esteem, it irritates them to witness someone else succeeding in any way. Their rage stems from their jealousy. Their goal is to drag the other person down to their level by disparaging their accomplishments or joy. Yes, it’s vindictive, but it’s the only way they know how to approach those who have what they desire.

2. To give themselves the impression that they are important.

Nobody wants to feel unimportant or little. Some people, on the other hand, use insults to boost their own self-esteem. This is frequently done as part of a group or in a hierarchy, when they assume that assaulting someone else would improve their own position. What these people don’t comprehend is that, while this technique may work in some high-stakes commercial situations, it frequently has the opposite effect in everyday life. What these people don’t comprehend is that, while this technique may work in some high-stakes commercial situations, it frequently has the opposite effect in everyday life.

3. To have a sense of control.

Putting someone else down gives you a sense of power, which may be very appealing. Due to childhood hardships or trauma, some people have grown up with a sense of powerlessness over their lives. Many bullies, for example, have either been bullied or are now being bullied, and in order to regain control, they “punch down” on someone they consider to be weaker.

4. They use displacement as a form of defense.

The bully mentioned earlier is an example of someone who uses the psychological strategy of displacement to cope with bad feelings. Taking a hostile emotion from one setting and transferring it to another is what displacement is all about. For example, a person may take their worry, anxiety, or rage from one area of their life and channel it into knocking down others. This is a harmful and unhealthy manner of dealing with one’s own challenging emotions.

Read my article about: How to stop the kick the dog syndrome?

5. They use displacement as a form of defense.

The bully mentioned earlier is an example of someone who uses the psychological strategy of displacement to cope with bad feelings. Taking a hostile emotion from one setting and transferring it to another is what displacement is all about. For example, a person may take their worry, anxiety, or rage from one area of their life and channel it into knocking down others. This is a harmful and unhealthy manner of dealing with one’s own challenging emotions.

6. They refuse to listen to a different point of view.

When someone has a particularly strong opinion on a subject, they are unlikely to be receptive to opposing viewpoints. Some people can manage conflicts in a mature manner, while others will want to demolish opposing viewpoints and thoughts. This can result in attacks on the opinions themselves as well as insults directed at the individual who possesses them.

The effects of supervisors who demean or talk down to their direct reports are well known: job performance falls, and mistakes and job migration both rise. It may even have a negative impact on employee health. On the contrary, one study found a link between pleasant work environments and companies that are regarded as leaders. Here are a few possible ways to manage it yourself then march up to human resources.

  1. Maintain a cheerful attitude and remain cool.

It’s crucial to avoid reducing oneself to the level of the employee, no matter how difficult it is. Even if the employee is hurling obscenities and bad comments at you, you should retain your cool and present yourself in the most professional manner possible. I completely comprehend. It hurts when someone puts you down, regardless of how they do it. Take a few moments to think about what they’ve said. Refrain from reacting in the heat of the moment. It’s all too easy to reply with a snappy quip or your own cruel comments to put them down.

Whatever you do, don’t get down on their level. It may feel fantastic at the time. And you might have the same sense of immediate relief as others do. But keep in mind that it’s only temporary. You don’t want to say or do something you’ll come to regret later.

2. It’s time to call them out on it.

If the person is one of those who constantly criticizes you, it’s time to confront them. Stop them in their tracks the next time they dig. Interrupt them and inform them you’re not going to listen to them any longer. After all, they constantly say something unpleasant and hurtful about you. When approaching them, make sure you’re calm and collected. You don’t want to do it in a rage.

Telling them you don’t like how they speak to you and politely asking them to try to improve for the next time will help. If you keep your cool while doing this, they’ll feel confronted but unlikely to retaliate – especially if others are watching. It enables you to make your argument. If they keep doing it after this, simply say, “I’ve previously asked you to stop making negative remarks; do you think you can try again?” Say it as many times as necessary till it becomes ingrained in their minds.

3. Consider your response.

You want to say something to them so that you aren’t just staring at them, but you don’t know what to say. You don’t want to escalate the situation by retaliating. You may end up saying something you later regret, and in the process, you may come to a halt at their level. Instead, you could ignore and chuckle. Simply laugh at their remark and walk away if you want to show them that their comments have no effect on you. It demonstrates that you know the comment isn’t accurate and aren’t going to respond to it.

Or say “Thank you for your input”. That’s all there is to it. The person who put you down didn’t expect you to respond in this way. They’re waiting for you to react, they’re expecting for a rise. There will be nothing left to say if you don’t.

You could say “Thank you, you might be right”. Another effective phrase in this case. Perhaps their remark stings so much because it has a kernel of truth. The individual is attempting to harm you, but it is up to you whether you allow them to do so. Consider it this way: it’s simply a remark. You can ignore it by turning the other way.

Check out my related post: How to manage employees who don’t get along?


Interesting reads:

https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/12254/people-who-put-others-down/

https://www.2knowmyself.com/how_to_deal_with_someone_who_puts_you_down

https://www.business2community.com/leadership/how-to-manage-employees-who-undermine-your-authority-02249811

https://www.salary.com/articles/5-ways-to-handle-disrespectful-employees/

https://brightside.me/inspiration-psychology/8-ways-of-dealing-with-people-who-try-to-put-you-down-800964/

https://hbr.org/2016/10/how-to-manage-a-toxic-employee

https://work.chron.com/handle-supervisor-talks-down-belittles-5941.html

https://ideapod.com/how-to-deal-with-someone-who-keeps-putting-you-down/

https://www.inc.com/drew-hendricks/how-to-manage-an-employee-who-doesn-t-respect-you.html

https://academia.stackexchange.com/questions/61748/how-to-deal-with-a-colleague-who-always-puts-you-down

https://www.life-with-confidence.com/people-who-put-you-down.html

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