Do you follow the 11 laws of likability?

Our lives depend on our relationships quite a bit. Without any friends or family, it would be pretty hard, right? After all, people are gregarious creatures.

So what is it that makes another human like you? How likable are you, then? Well, Michelle Tillis Lederman’s book, The 11 Laws of Likability, will introduce you to all eleven liability rules that will help you build meaningful relationships: honesty, self-image, vision, energy, interest, listening, similarity, memory of mood, familiarity, giving, and patience.

Much of our lives are dependent on our experiences. And our relationships help and bind us, whether they’re of a professional or personal nature. But how does networking, a concept we so often see in the modern business world, relate to that fact? Because as a result of our relationships, our networks grow, “networking” simply describes the way we create new relationships. It comes down to liking someone and making you like her.

So strive to consider what is likable about the other person as well as yourself while you’re networking. By asking questions, whether about the life of the individual, views, values, job or hobbies, find out what’s likable about others and then listen actively. Although liability is as arbitrary as it is different for all, the fundamental principles of liability are the same across the board. It is possible to boil down these fundamental powers to eleven liability laws that we are about to dive into one by one.

It’s important to bear in mind, before we begin, that networking is about wanting to communicate with others, not just achieving a specific result. In reality, some individuals respond to the word networking negatively, thinking of it as a test they have to take to win over individuals.

So it’s only fair that it is hard to find the drive to do it, much less to do it well, if networking feels like a chore to you. Contrary to the common misconception that when starting a relationship you should have a particular target in mind, when getting to know someone, you should not be thinking about takeaways.

In reality, you can make it about connections instead of networking over transactions. Both you and the individuals you talk to will benefit from it. After all, by being truthful and genuine, the only way to make yourself likable is. Everyone has a different set of attitudes, views, priorities and values, but for all individuals, honesty is the same, generally speaking. It merely implies being true to yourself. So, how do you know whether or not you’re authentic?

One way is to measure whether in a situation you feel uncomfortable or not: being honest feels normal while being inauthentic doesn’t. Being authentic typically feels so normal that you do not realize it, which makes it difficult to describe. On the other hand, you’re probably painfully aware of the reality and feel uncomfortable and drained by it when you’re not being authentic.

That’s because you force yourself to wear a mask and to behave differently than what you typically do. For example, if you hate the person you’re talking to, this tends to happen when you’re under pressure to act in a specific way. Regardless of how you feel about the person you’re speaking to, you’ve got to remain authentic.

Try looking at the individuals you encounter with unbiased eyes instead of wearing a forced smile. Perhaps you would find something about them to enjoy. For example, in places where you don’t, maybe they have skills. Or you might feel compassion for their behaviour, perhaps.

This thinking experiment will allow you to forge a new outlook to authentically deal with the client. Just note, it will contribute to a more genuine and fruitful relationship to find the good in a situation or an individual.

Did you ever feel pressured to go to an event that you didn’t want to attend? We were all there and we always go because we think we need to. But whether you either want to go to a case, or really have to, you’re better off not attending. Only when you make the decisions that you want to make, not the choices you should make, can your true self emerge. You will remain true to your authentic self by only attending activities that you want to attend.

There are two types of activities in general: the ones you get to attend, which make you feel relaxed and excited, and the ones you have to attend, because you are recommended, say, by your boss or family member. The aim here is to make wise decisions between the two and note that there is a choice you have. If you “have to” attend activities that you can get out of, get out of them. Or, if there’s a meeting you just don’t need to attend, miss it.

Making tiny improvements to your mentality often goes a long way. Currently, efficiency is all about keeping a good mindset. So if there are activities that you really can’t get out of, consider converting them into events that you can do by searching for fun parts of them.

For example, if you’re not in the mood to go to someone’s birthday party that you don’t know very well, but feel obliged to do so, bring along a buddy. It will make you feel authentic and secure, because you can mix and meet new people in small groups. And remember, there’s no right way to be at a social gathering. The best thing you can be is yourself.

Did you ever walk away from someone’s conversation and feel like he was completely fake? Perhaps because the language of his body wasn’t matched with his words, a mistake that you should be sure to prevent. Instead, to interact with accuracy, you should work. Try using the three main elements, known as the three V’s, for communication.

The first V is verbal, or the words you say; the second V is auditory, or the sound of your voice; the third V is visual, or the language of your body. So keep your three V’s in chorus while you talk, meaning you mentally, vocally and visually convey the same message.

But communication is not just about being reliable and, because of self-doubt, the three V’s will often fall out of line. After all, whether you believe what you think, no one else will. Not just that, but if you’re not feeling good about yourself, it will be conveyed through your body language.

So, how do you exude the confidence that you need to efficiently communicate? First off, you need to remember that the way you explain something also affects the way you see it. Positively framing items will assist you shed your negative feelings. “For example, instead of saying to yourself, “I’m too slow and I’m never going to get this done,” say, “I take my time to make sure things are done properly.

And, finally, reflect on what you can do, rather than what you can’t do. “For instance, thoughts like “I have no idea how to do this” should be turned into “I’m excited to be working on something new.

Check out my related post: What can you do if your boss doesn’t like your team member?

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