How do you be a bawse?

Ever wondered how millions of subscribers gained by YouTubers, and then go on not only to meet celebrities but to become celebrities themselves? Well, now from the YouTube sensation Lilly Singh, in her book, How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life, you can learn all the tricks of the trade.

Your mind can be a delightful asset as well as a daunting barrier. It creates great thoughts often, but it can just as often keeps you back, refusing to let go of old ways of thinking. You want your mind to work for you, obviously, and that means that you need to make friends with it. And gaining self-awareness is the best way to turn your brain into your friend.

The first step toward self-awareness is recognizing the intricate layers of your inner issues. Each issue has at least three layers that need to be peeled back before you can reach the root cause.

Let’s take a look at a problem that the author is grappling with to better illustrate this strategy: she appears to behave like she is not currently interested in finding a romantic relationship. She tells people at the first stage that she’s too busy working and developing her career. In the second, she informs herself that her progress towards her objectives will be impeded by the dedication of a friendship. Another explanation for her not having a relationship at level three is that she doesn’t know how to reconcile her career ambitions and a stable partnership.

But because of her childhood experience, at the fourth and deepest level, she avoids relationships. She was never exposed to healthy relationships, and this led to her belief that they only bring out the ugly side of people. You must first dig under these layers to determine their exact root cause if you want to solve a personal problem, all while being totally truthful with yourself. Only then can you start investing in solving it with time and effort.

The second step towards self-awareness is to overcome the thoughts and feelings that affect you negatively. It is important to understand why you feel such emotions at specific times, since it will put you in control of your feelings. Here are some tips on the management of common thoughts and emotions: First, try not to take it personally when someone brings out a negative reaction in you. In all probability, there are problems in the life of that person that affect his or her actions towards you, problems that have nothing to do with you. Second, note that a greater motivator than fear is happiness. And, thus, you have to work for something that makes you happy.

The two main steps in improving self-awareness are to recognise the root cause of your problem, and to control negative thoughts and emotions. You go to the gym and get on the elliptical or do a few reps on the bench press if you want to be physically stronger. Similarly, you have to train the brain to improve your mind, and the brain, like the body, has various sets of muscles. Here are three strategies for one of those muscles to exercise, the muscle of self-control.

You need to set goals for yourself first. For instance, set the target of completing a task within a certain amount of time. Try to beat it once you’ve achieved the target. Second, every time you hit your target, remember to reward yourself. You can try to get a friend to take your phone hostage and tell them not to give it back until you have accomplished the mission you are working on, because it’s like a reward to get your phone back. The third process is to challenge yourself to break a bad habit. Try to abstain from the habit for 24 hours if you’re a nail-biter, resetting the clock if you gnaw your nails until that time is up.

As important as it is to practice self-control, it is just as important to train yourself to hit pause. Every now and then, you’ve got to give your mental muscles a moment to recover.

Clearly, due to sheer fatigue, you don’t want to miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime chance. How can you remain sharp, then? Meditation is the solution. This doesn’t mean that you have to get up or employ a guru at daybreak. Meditation is versatile, and several different versions of it exist. So choose the practice that’s right for you. The required meditative activity for the author is sitting, cross-legged, in front of a candle on the ground. She does some deep breathing with her eyes shut, while laughing. Finally, she whispers whatever’s on her mind to herself, and this process helps her unravel and calm her feelings. With plenty of practice, you’ll have a powerful mind in no time!

What do they have in common with distraction and fear? Here’s what: on the road to success, these are the two main hurdles. You need to commit completely to accomplishing something great, and that includes learning how to control any worries and obstacles that could get in the way.

Another thing you’ll need on your journey to success, along with complete engagement, is a vision. To create a collage that highlights your goal is a useful way to manifest your vision. Let’s call it a vision board after you’ve made this collage of pictures, put it anywhere you can see it, and it will serve as a daily reminder of your goals and lead you to behave in a more goal-oriented manner.

Your vision board is your brainchild, and as if it were your actual child, you should protect it. In other words, don’t hesitate to make the sacrifices required to keep your vision board safe and discard plans that need it to be replaced. All of your attention needs to be focused on your brainchild.

Find out what your dreams are, and make them come true without holding back. As a growing empire, imagine your personal and professional development. And remember: an empire would eventually collapse without a solid base.

Rome was not built in a day, and its foundation was probably not, either, so be prepared for it to take a while to create your own foundation for success. There isn’t a fast way to the top. It may make your YouTube video go viral by doing something outrageous or dangerous, but that popularity will disappear just as quickly as it appeared. By comparison, if you build your YouTube subscriber base over time, you can establish a loyal audience through hard, honest work.

You will also need to set up a base of knowledge, resources and personal skills to succeed. That means investing yourself in time, effort and resources. Not only is it important for success to have a solid base, but it also frees you from stressful must-win situations. No single achievement, and no single disappointment, will make or break your career once you have a fundamental track record of success. This reduces tension, a proven inhibitor of success, and makes it easier to relax and concentrate on performing at your optimum level.

Stress may certainly hinder performance, but that doesn’t mean that you can totally avoid it, because it is far more likely to procrastinate for people with stress-free lives. The only way to make your life stressful enough is to set your own deadlines. We all know that procrastination is harmful to efficiency, and yet, until the eleventh hour, many of us still prefer to delay things. This is where the day can be saved by deadlines.

Success is not going to happen overnight, so begin setting deadlines for the long haul and buckle up.

Check out my related post: How to deal with difficult bosses?

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